There have been movies, books, instruction manuals, jokes, essays and so on written on this one very intriguing topic. But in my opinion, it is not such a mystery! Over the past few decades, as women we have been focused on surviving in a man’s world….meeting them deliverable for deliverable, managing what they cannot in daily life; the balancing act of work and home. We change tires, scream at various sports events, matching our men beer for beer. We deliver babies and cook gourmet meals, keep both sets of families happy and raise our children alongside meeting targets at the office, raising our voices louder than the rest of the men at the boardroom table. We pretty much do it all; we are independent, strong, resilient, and determined and can achieve anything we set out minds on.
In focusing on surviving in this ‘man’s world’, we have disconnected with ourselves. More and more relationships are breaking up because we, the women simply don’t have the tolerance levels to cope. C Sections rates have gone up because we don’t believe in the power of our natural bodies. And yet, we match our men beer for beer, word for word, target for target.
My question is, why can’t we do all of the above and still retain our ‘womanhood’? Why can’t we be that tigress in the boardroom or bedroom, the lioness protecting her cubs, the supermom who’ does it all’ and still cry without it being seen as a weakness? Why can’t we show our softer side anymore and still have the world understand that we are just as strong? Why can’t we put those feminine touches into the business world making it a sexier place (be it pink on a ppt to dress up some tiresome figures or a flowy dress or elegant saree to brighten up a room)? Why does it have to be one or the other? The irony is that despite all this, we cannot take the ‘woman hormones’ out of the picture. No matter how well we do the above, we still want to be pampered and looked after. We still want to be able to cry or vent after a hard day. We still want to be cherished and loved and protected (at least some of us and at least some of the time!!).
I recently had a client and friend who came into Mom’s Lounge with her husband. She had two months to go till her delivery date. She is in a senior position at a prestigious international organisation, she is ruthless in the boardroom and she is mind blowing stunning. She can cook like a dream and makes beautiful babies (this is her second). She is probably every man’s fantasy and those very same men are intimidated by her. Except her husband. He gives her the space to do her thing, he laughs at the men who hit on her completely secure in his relationship and yet threatens to beat them up (the right amount of jealousy!). He puts up with her tantrums and gives in to her every demand and takes pride in the house she keeps and the son she raises. They came in so he could book a prenatal treatment for her once a week, every week till the end of her pregnancy. Now the amazing thing is, that this lady could do this herself – she walks into any room and takes it by storm, is independent enough to pay for anything, anywhere. And yet she walked in on his arm, leaning into him, sat quietly while he did the deed and kissed him goodbye before she went in to enjoy his gift.
Here is a man who understands completely what a woman wants! And he exists! So why is it so difficult to give us what we need? The saying has always been behind every successful man is a strong woman. But I am changing it today. Anika Puri says, “Behind every successful woman, is a strong, secure and generous man”.